Life Update: Re-brand? Uni? Job?
Why hello there,
Long time no see as the cool kids like to say. I know I must have written about 20 of these "IM BACK" posts, but this time I'm about 80% sure I'm back for good. so like the title suggests, I'm back to give you a bit of an update. This last year has flown by to be honest, and just because it has passed by in about 4 seconds doesn't mean I sat on my laurels and watched it. Oh no. I grasped 2018 by the balls and told it to back off this is my year. That didn't go 100% to plan but I have done some things in the past year which made me actually pretty proud of myself. And because I am the ultimate narcissist I'm going to compile them in a lovely easy to digest article.
1) Got a fucking job
Yes sir I did. And usually getting a job isn't anything to write home about but I got a job doing exactly what I wanted to do - writing. I'm writing for a website called Psych2Go, using my experience with mental health, therapy and all the bits in-between to hopefully impart some wisdom to the readers and help where I can. I've been writing for them for over a year now and I honestly love it so much. This experience has confirmed what I already knew, that I wanted to be a writer and I am actually good at it. This has really helped boost my belief in my writing ability and is why I've been so quiet on my blog.
2) Got a fucking place at uni
Something I never thought I'd be able to type if I'm honest. When I left sixth form I had sworn off University as the worst thing that could possibly happen to me ever. I was so against it I couldn't even watch University Challenge. But then my college suggested I should apply and I thought well, it can't hurt. And then I went to view a few universities, hated two of them and was smugly thinking 'well, I KNEW IT'. Then I arrived at Worcester uni and fell in love. The teachers were amazing, the campus was so green and rural, the town centre was perfect and all I could do was imagine myself studying in one of the cute coffee shops in the town centre. I'm studying journalism (surprise surprise) and I can't wait. Obviously I'm shit scared and am having panic attacks left, right and centre but I am excited. I'm staying at home as I live in Worcestershire so the commute isn't that bad.
3) Passed my fucking driving test
Yes, I am now on the road everyone stay calm. Me and my beautiful Suzuki Jimmy are out and about in the Worcestershire countryside having a whale of a time. It took me a couple of attempts but I passed with flying colours. I've been driving for nearly a year and having the ability to just take myself places still hasn't sunk in. I actually really enjoy driving and feel a huge sense of accomplishment when I manage to successfully parallel park. Having that independence has really helped my confidence, but also means I am now a taxi for my sister.
4) Got fucking gin drunk
Considering I don't really drink, I have drank a lot of gin in the last year or so. Alcohol used to fucking terrify me because of my anxiety. My worst fear used to be having a panic attack while drunk. They're scary enough when your sober but bloody hell while your drunk! No thanks. So I didn't drink at all. Then I started therapy and my anxiety calmed down massively and I felt a lot more relaxed in every aspect of my life. So I felt more comfortable drinking. Then managed to get myself gin drunk in a 'Spoons. Not surprising when I drank two pitchers of gin really.
5) Finally starting to feel a sense of fucking accomplishment and content-ness within my life (fuck yeah)
Arguably the most important point on this whole list. After three years of feeling shit, anxious, useless and just really crap about myself I have finally found contentment. That's not to say I am now a monk and live surrounded by goats (although not wholly unappealing). I just am finally feeling okay. Like actually okay, like waking up in the morning and not wanting to die. Obviously I have down days, I had one yesterday and just felt like shit for the entire day. But on the most part I'm doing alright. Which is why I have, once again, changed the name of my blog. I have always thought of this space as mine (probs because it is, lol) and because I've been freelancing for the last year I forgot how nice it feels to just write what you want. So thats why I've changed the name, This Must Be My Place to write whatever I want, and I'm going to do that.
I'm proud of myself for getting this far. Considering I tried to kill myself twice in one year I wasn't supposed to make it to 2018. But here I am - and its fuckin' great.
Long time no see as the cool kids like to say. I know I must have written about 20 of these "IM BACK" posts, but this time I'm about 80% sure I'm back for good. so like the title suggests, I'm back to give you a bit of an update. This last year has flown by to be honest, and just because it has passed by in about 4 seconds doesn't mean I sat on my laurels and watched it. Oh no. I grasped 2018 by the balls and told it to back off this is my year. That didn't go 100% to plan but I have done some things in the past year which made me actually pretty proud of myself. And because I am the ultimate narcissist I'm going to compile them in a lovely easy to digest article.
1) Got a fucking job
Yes sir I did. And usually getting a job isn't anything to write home about but I got a job doing exactly what I wanted to do - writing. I'm writing for a website called Psych2Go, using my experience with mental health, therapy and all the bits in-between to hopefully impart some wisdom to the readers and help where I can. I've been writing for them for over a year now and I honestly love it so much. This experience has confirmed what I already knew, that I wanted to be a writer and I am actually good at it. This has really helped boost my belief in my writing ability and is why I've been so quiet on my blog.
2) Got a fucking place at uni
Something I never thought I'd be able to type if I'm honest. When I left sixth form I had sworn off University as the worst thing that could possibly happen to me ever. I was so against it I couldn't even watch University Challenge. But then my college suggested I should apply and I thought well, it can't hurt. And then I went to view a few universities, hated two of them and was smugly thinking 'well, I KNEW IT'. Then I arrived at Worcester uni and fell in love. The teachers were amazing, the campus was so green and rural, the town centre was perfect and all I could do was imagine myself studying in one of the cute coffee shops in the town centre. I'm studying journalism (surprise surprise) and I can't wait. Obviously I'm shit scared and am having panic attacks left, right and centre but I am excited. I'm staying at home as I live in Worcestershire so the commute isn't that bad.
3) Passed my fucking driving test
Yes, I am now on the road everyone stay calm. Me and my beautiful Suzuki Jimmy are out and about in the Worcestershire countryside having a whale of a time. It took me a couple of attempts but I passed with flying colours. I've been driving for nearly a year and having the ability to just take myself places still hasn't sunk in. I actually really enjoy driving and feel a huge sense of accomplishment when I manage to successfully parallel park. Having that independence has really helped my confidence, but also means I am now a taxi for my sister.
4) Got fucking gin drunk
Considering I don't really drink, I have drank a lot of gin in the last year or so. Alcohol used to fucking terrify me because of my anxiety. My worst fear used to be having a panic attack while drunk. They're scary enough when your sober but bloody hell while your drunk! No thanks. So I didn't drink at all. Then I started therapy and my anxiety calmed down massively and I felt a lot more relaxed in every aspect of my life. So I felt more comfortable drinking. Then managed to get myself gin drunk in a 'Spoons. Not surprising when I drank two pitchers of gin really.
5) Finally starting to feel a sense of fucking accomplishment and content-ness within my life (fuck yeah)
Arguably the most important point on this whole list. After three years of feeling shit, anxious, useless and just really crap about myself I have finally found contentment. That's not to say I am now a monk and live surrounded by goats (although not wholly unappealing). I just am finally feeling okay. Like actually okay, like waking up in the morning and not wanting to die. Obviously I have down days, I had one yesterday and just felt like shit for the entire day. But on the most part I'm doing alright. Which is why I have, once again, changed the name of my blog. I have always thought of this space as mine (probs because it is, lol) and because I've been freelancing for the last year I forgot how nice it feels to just write what you want. So thats why I've changed the name, This Must Be My Place to write whatever I want, and I'm going to do that.
I'm proud of myself for getting this far. Considering I tried to kill myself twice in one year I wasn't supposed to make it to 2018. But here I am - and its fuckin' great.
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